I Want You to Know Me But…

17th November, 2010 - Posted by Sam - No Comments

Being a student of human behavior and psychology for the past 30 plus years, I am convinced that one of the deepest human needs is the need to be known; to have someone know you. I am not referring to knowing just facts ‘n’ stuff about you, but to knowing what is going on inside in your soul. (Soul is another word for psyche – that non-physical part of you where your thoughts, feelings, and will reside.) Our soul is that deep part of ourselves – where we feel and think late at night when everyone goes to sleep and we are all alone. Someone has referred to this need to be known and seen as – “into me see”. Would you please look into me and see me?

But our need does not just stop at being known and seen, but to be accepted for who we are. One of the greatest fears from our childhood is that of being rejected and disapproved of. So here we have the dilemma: to be known or to hide and defend against being known. “I want you to know me, but I am afraid that you may not like me, so I will not show you who I really am.”

The resolution for this inner conflict is found in the safety of the unconditional love that the great songwriter David reminds us of in Psalms 139. Here David sets forth the extent to which God know us – our every thought, our very words before we speak or text them.

GOD, I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in! (Message)

There is no need to hide from the safety and security of someone who loves you deeply. Perfect love casts out fear. So, not only are we fully known by a personal God but He invites us into an intimate relationship with Him. Will you allow yourself to be known and to take in this reality and truth?

Dr. Sam B Leong, Ph.D.