17th November, 2010 - Posted by Sam - No Comments
Being a student of human behavior and psychology for the past 30 plus years, I am convinced that one of the deepest human needs is the need to be known; to have someone know you. I am not referring to knowing just facts ‘n’ stuff about you, but to knowing what is going on inside in your soul. (Soul is another word for psyche – that non-physical part of you where your thoughts, feelings, and will reside.) Our soul is that deep part of ourselves – where we feel and think late at night when everyone goes to sleep and we are all alone. Someone has referred to this need to be known and seen as – “into me see”. Would you please look into me and see me?
But our need does not just stop at being known and seen, but to be accepted for who we are. One of the greatest fears from our childhood is that of being rejected and disapproved of. So here we have the dilemma: to be known or to hide and defend against being known. “I want you to know me, but I am afraid that you may not like me, so I will not show you who I really am.”
The resolution for this inner conflict is found in the safety of the unconditional love that the great songwriter David reminds us of in Psalms 139. Here David sets forth the extent to which God know us – our every thought, our very words before we speak or text them.
(more…)
2nd November, 2010 - Posted by Kirsten - No Comments
Love. It is a word we most likely hear at least once every day. “I love you.” “I love when that happens.” “She doesn’t’ love me anymore.” “I love the Giants!” “Love is a many splendored thing”. “For God so loved the world…” It is at the core of our being and one of the things that makes us uniquely human: not only the ability but the need to give and receive love. In Baz Luhrman’s 2001 movie musical Moulin Rouge, the entire film hinged on one song lyric: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.”
Interesting, the inclusion of the word “learn”. If God is love (1 John 4: 8), and we are created in His image, then love, it would follow, is something that should come naturally to all of us. Regardless of one’s faith or religious practice, we are all imbued with the stamp of the Creator, and we all have a radar, a honing device if you will, for that thing called love. Why would we need to learn it?
If only it were that simple. Sadly, due to the broken nature of our world, our ability to give and receive healthy, life-giving love is flawed and broken as well. Our hearts and souls need and deeply long for the love of friends, parents, siblings, husbands, wives, partners, a community outside of ourselves. The wounding we’ve each personally experienced makes the authentic expression and receiving of love profoundly difficult, and in some cases, almost impossible.
(more…)
28th July, 2010 - Posted by Myrna - No Comments
What does therapy do that your friends, family, pastor, or others can’t do for you?
Therapy can provide objectivity. Often the people who are close to you, even if they see the issues clearly, are not able to give you the feedback you need in a candid or helpful manner.
Therapy can help you see what’s going on in the hidden places in your life that you can’t seem to access on your own. It makes the unconscious conscious. Once that happens, you can decide how to proceed with the new information.
Therapy can be a safe place to say many things which you have been afraid to voice to anyone else. Sometimes these hidden thoughts keep you stuck.
Therapy can be a safe place to discuss areas of hurt or abuse that seem too hard for others to hear. Therapists are trained to “handle” those difficult or painful issues.
Therapy can be as open-ended as needed for you to heal or make the changes desired in your life. Friends sometimes weary of hearing your problems and are at a loss as to how to help you. Pastors often cannot realistically devote the time needed for the support you need for your particular recovery.
Therapy can be a place to learn some skills for communicating better and to resolve conflict. Many people do not learn these skills growing up.
Newer Entries